Inside the Mind of The Frustrated #23

"Seriously? It's my money, so I don't see why you feel you have the right to pissed about me spending it.  Sure I've been spending a lot of it lately, but I've also been saving some.  This was my allowance.  It was given to me to spend at my will, and it was my responsibility to learn how to save and that's exactly what I'm doing.  Forgive me if it's not the way you do things, but you should know by now that we have different opinions on the matter.  Just because I don't save in the same way you do, and I see different value in things than you do; that doesn't make me wrong.  It just means we have a difference of opinion.  I was given an allowance, so it should almost be a given that you would expect me to buy stuff that I want.  I'm supporting a friend who has been signed onto a record label.  If I think it's worth it, then it's worth.  Believe it or not, I know when enough is enough but due to our differences you don't think I know it.  I do, you just don't believe anything that comes out of my mouth.  This is why I can't talk to you about anything.  Your ego just gets in the way and you always want to see things your way.  I'm 18, I'm supposed to be living my own life instead of being tied down by every small little stupid rule you had when you were growing up in the Philippines.  Times have changed, you need to accept that.  Everyone else has."

- Francis Frustration

Frustration..

This is going to be .... hard....

I already know how you are going to react to this news..

Look.

I understand that this means everything to you, 

but I don't want you to think that it means nothing to me or 

it isn't as important to me...

Honestly I do want to see you and spend time with you and to meet you family.

I really do .,. but I can't just ditch my blood family..

Especially when I have the chance to see my cousins who I barely to never see ..

Honestly, this is really complicated and I'm not sure I can put this in words ..

I know you'll get angry and I know we might end up fighting over this..

I want to be as mature as I possibly can in order to stay in the good side of my parents as well as yours ..

But I feel like I'll only prove to not deserve your love ..

That's all I can say at the moment ...

- Francis Frustration

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys [2]

Currently listening to it and falling in love.

Bought it today at HMV. If you are a My Chemical Romance fan at all, you will absolutely love this album. This is so much better than the "Black Parade" album.

Definitely worth the wait and worth the money.
I am loving every second of every song.

My Chemical Romance for life!

- Francis Frustration

30 Day Photo Challenge [Day 23]

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

I couldn't pick one out of the entire series.
I love them all for different reasons.
The only book I don't like as much as the rest would be "New Moon", only because Edward's barely in it and it pretty much revolves around Jacob Black.

- Francis Frustration

I Wonder ...

What would happen if I left..
If I disappeared from your life..

What would happen?
I may never know,
or at least how you would
truly feel.

Let me tell you how I feel about it:
It kills. It hurts to think about a life without you ... I know I may never be the best, but I'll always try .. I know our friendship is treasured by me, but I'll never truly know if it's treasured by you ..  Call it paranoia but that's how I feel.  You're an amazing person, and you will always be able to make new friends.. I wish I could say the same.  All I can do is cherish the friends I have now and hope they don't abandon me. I will do whatever it takes to maintain our friendship because I miss you ... More than anyone of my other friends I have ever lost ... But I'm sure you have no problem replacing my with someone better ... and I have no doubt that you can and you probably will..

Who knows .. Maybe I'm taking this more seriously then I should ... You seem to not be worrying about how things will end up... then why am I so worried... Maybe it's 'cause I know how I lucky I am that you haven't already ditched me ....

I just hope you don't ... It's all I can ever ask of you without feeling selfish .. and even then I feel guilty at the thought of it ...

- Francis Frustration

Sometimes ...

Sometimes, I doubt ..
I fear things that seem stupid to fear..
I think things that sound ridiculous out loud..

But that's just me.

Sometimes,
I think things but never
say them out loud
I always fear the worst
The worst in how you'll take it ..
I don't want to hurt you..

But that's just me ..

Sometimes ..
Blogging and music
seem to be the only
unbiased outlets ..
I can always trust it..

But that's just me...

This is who I am ..
I'm not sure if I like it ..

- Francis Frustration

What Should I Do [2]

What should I do..
I can't seem to sleep..
My mind won't let me,
What should I do...

Should I accept that there is a possibility
that someone better for you is out there?
Should I confess that sometimes I wonder,
I wonder if it's love we feel or clouded love with lust
.. What should I do..

Should I admit that it would better to find someone else,
That it's how I feel sometimes..
I know I love you ..
but it's because I love you that I wonder if I'm the best...

Should I confess if I've had thoughts of you being happier with
someone else?
You tell them that it would never happen and that it's not like that..
But I've been that person before.. I know the situation ..
Should I accept that perhaps there is a possibility for stronger feelings than you admit?

... What should I do?
Should I be ashamed and horrible for thinking that?
...
I don't know anymore..
What should I do...

Should I admit that I have doubts?
Who doesn't we're only human right?
Then why is it so hard to admit I can't be perfect..
Should I admit that it's 'cause I try to be perfect?
I try to be everything you deserve,
but sometimes my own nature goes against that...

What should I do ...
I try to be mature about things, but sometimes it's hard.
It's hard when I want to succumb to my emotions because
it's easier, but then I remember than I'm the older one.
I have to be the mature one; it's what people expect..

What should I do..
Should I be who you want me to be?
Give myself to a ... "God" ..
What should I do...
I used to at least think that I had these answers..

Now a days, I just repress it and listen to more music ..
Hopefully it goes away... For good this time..

- Francis Frustration

No Shave November/ Movember

It’s that time of the year again!  If you have no idea what I am talking about, you may have noticed the unusual increase of facial over the month of November? Or perhaps you didn’t, because you love facial hair and can’t understand why anyone would want to shave that beautiful thing off of their faces.  Allow me to explain, there are certain standards in what people consider professionalism and facial hair seems to always be connected to  homeless people because as well all know, homeless people usually don’t shave as they do not have access to the necessary tools.  However, this is not what the month is truly about.  Men all around the world grow facial hair and surrender their good looks for the good cause that is awareness of prostate cancer. It is a fact that 1 in every 6 of us men will experience this tragedy.  It is also a fact that I just “googled” that fact.  Every year I take pride in giving up my appearance for the sake of awareness in hopes that one day, all men can live without fear of a disgusting cancer taking hold of what they use to create sons and daughters. 

- Francis Frustration 

Prostitution or Free Will, You May (or May Not) Have the Choice

For those against prostitution because it is degrading for women and makes them lesser than men; I offer you another “point of perspective” so to speak. 

EITHER

Women prostitute themselves

OR

Women are left without a job

-          Seems simple enough right? I mean, would you let another woman be without an income simply because you disagreed with her line of work? The unemployment rate would be so much higher globally.  On top of that if a woman isn’t working, then she’s at home and we can all think of the outcomes of that can’t we? 

EITHER

Women have the choice of prostitution

OR

Women are forced into other jobs

-          This might not make sense to you, but consider this.  If a woman wants to be a prostitute and you stop her because it is illegal, are you not stripping away her rights?  We want to move ahead of time, and the fight to give the women the right to vote didn’t happen so that we could instead control what jobs they should be doing. 

EITHER

Prostitution becomes legalized

OR

Women are forced to break said “law” to survive

-          We can all criticize these women and tell them to get more “honourable” jobs but we can’t deny the desperate times call for desperate measures. Until we’ve lived the lives they’ve lived, we can’t judge their “career” decisions so to speak. 

EITHER

The government spends countless on the controversy that is “Prostitution”

OR

We focus on more important things.

-          Lets be honest, at the end of the day is prostitution really that much of a dilemma? Will our society as we know it crash because women want to have sex for money and no commitment?  At the end of the day, we have to look at ourselves and ask if this is worth the fight?  We’ve got starving kids and underpaid child workers but we’re worried about middle aged women who choose to make a living out of sex?  I’m not saying that this is always the case, but those women are out there somewhere.  On a corner block waiting for opportunity, because somewhere in the world its night time and they’re looking for their living.  Are you going to be the one that takes their income away, because you don’t agree with their beliefs? I’ll let you think about that.  

- Francis Frustration

Canada, meet Double Down

Something like this WOULD come from the states.

$6.99 of the most unhealthiest combination of deep fried fast food Canada will ever see.

I don't think anyone can or will want to top this?

I hope not..

Either way..

My verdict is.. As UNHEALTHY it was..

I loved every bite, even though I knew I was slowly killing myself.

- Francis Frustration

Remembrance Day: Let us Remember ...

Let us remember...

Those who lost their lives

The families that were affected

Those loved ones most close to our hearts

Today,

We remember lost souls

We remember those who have moved on

We remember the lives,

that many have been taken away too quickly

Those who were unfairly stolen

Today,

we remember,

Not just our loses

but the world's loses

As we mourn

let use remember them

Let their memories remain with us for our lifetime.

Let us not forget,

the ways in which they have touched

each and every one of our lives

whether it be in a big or small way

Let us not forget,

soon

we will join them

In Flanders fields

One poppy..

For every soul lost..

Sometimes we run out of poppies.

So, let their memories find refuge in our hearts.

- Francis Frustration

Inside the Mind of The Frustrated #21

"My house has become a prison... I want out.. I need out... There is no happiness here..."

- Francis Frustration

30 Day Photo Challenge [Day 5]

Day 5 - A Picture of your Favorite Memory

Carnival Freedom

Club O2

The week I found my one love, and a lifetime of memories

Why wouldn't it be my favorite?

I will forever cherish this week.

- Francis Frustration

What Should I Do...

What should I do ...

Should I accept that I've made mistakes?

Admit that at times I've been too selfish to learn from them?

Should I accept our differences,

or should I just work harder to be who you want me to.

.. What should I do?

Should I just lay down and conform,

or should I try and work towards a compromise?

Would you want to?

What should I do? ...

Should I remain who I am.. Flaws and all,

or should I change

should I give myself over to a religion

Abandon my own belief system for your sake..

Something that you would like

.. What should I do ..

Should I be frustrated that

you can never seem pleased with what I do?

Or happy that I'm growing more independent as the days pass

Should I be who you want me to be?

... What should I do ..

Who should I be ..

Wasn't it good enough for me to happy with who I am?

...

Why doesn't it feel good enough for you anymore...

What should I do...

Should I even post this ..

What Should I do..

Should I give up?

... I don't know anymore ...

- Francis Frustration